How to Find a Birth Doula
Bringing a baby into the world is one of the most transformative experiences you'll ever have. Having the right birth doula by your side can make that journey smoother, more empowering, and more supported. But with so many doulas out there, how do you choose the one that’s the best fit for you?
Let’s walk through what to look for, what to ask, and how to trust your instincts during the selection process.
1. Understand What a Birth Doula Does
Before you start your search, it’s important to know exactly what a birth doula does.
A birth doula provides:
Emotional and informational support during pregnancy
Education to help you make informed decisions before and during labor
Continuous support during labor and delivery - unlike medical staff who come and go
Advocacy support - helping you voice your wants and needs
Support for your partner to feel confident, involved, and informed
They are not medical professionals, but they work alongside your medical care provider.
2. Decide What Kind of Support You’re Looking For
Ask yourself:
Do I want someone with a holistic approach to care?
Do I want someone who specializes in out of hospital births?
Do I want someone with a strong or passive personality?
Is cultural competence important to me?
Am I looking for someone who offers postpartum support as well?
Am I looking for someone who I can relate to?
Understanding your wants and needs will help narrow your search.
3. Officially Begin Your Search
You can find birth doulas through:
Local parenting or Facebook groups
Doula directories (DoulaMatch.net & Bornbir.com)
Word of mouth from friends, midwives, or childbirth educators
Community-based doula programs (often offer sliding scale or free services)
4. Interview at least Three Doulas
I highly recommend you to talk to a few doulas before making your decision. Most offer free consultations.
Here are some key questions to ask:
What inspired you to become a doula?
How many births have you attended?
What is your birth philosophy?
How do you support both the birthing person and their partner?
Do you have experience with [hospital births/home births/twins/VBAC, etc.]?
What is your backup plan if you’re unavailable?
What’s included in your services (prenatal visits, availability, postpartum follow-up)?
Pay attention to how you feel during the conversation. Do you feel heard, respected, and comfortable? Does this person feel like a friend?
5. Consider Experience
Yes, experience can be valuable but newer doulas often bring enthusiasm, recent training, and lots of heart. If you connect well and they have solid references or mentorship, they can be a wonderful choice.
Note: They often charge less than more experienced doulas.
6. Look for a Personality Match
Birth is intimate. You want someone you feel emotionally safe with. Someone you’d be okay having around in your most vulnerable moments.
Ask yourself:
Do I feel calm and supported when I talk to them?
Are they good at listening?
Do they respect my preferences and beliefs?
Would I be-friend someone like them?
What is my intuition saying?
Your gut feeling matters. Follow your intuition, babe.
7. Understand the Logistics and Cost
Clarify:
Their availability around your due date
How they handle communication (text, email, phone)
What’s included in the fee (prenatal visits, labor support, postpartum check-ins)
Payment plans or sliding scale options, if needed
8. Trust Your Intuition
Your intuition is not just a feeling, it's a fundamental part of who you are as a woman. It’s powerful, deeply rooted, and especially heightened as you step into motherhood.
I’ve said this before, and I’m saying it again because it truly cannot be overstated:
Your intuition is everything.
In this season of your life, your comfort and your trust matter more than anything else. That inner voice? It doesn’t lie. You don’t need to rationalize it. Sometimes it's just a sense, a knowing. You might connect more deeply with one doula over another, even if they have less experience than the other and that’s okay. That’s your intuition guiding you.
Lean into it. Trust it. Honor it.
If you’re in the DFW metroplex and looking for a doula who will support you with heart, presence, and warmth; I’d love to connect with you. Let’s schedule a free consultation and see if we click. No pressure, just a chat in a cozy coffee shop about your hopes, your vision, and the support you are looking for through this sacred season.
Your intuition will know if it’s a match and I’d be honored if it says yes. 💛
